The Problem With "If Everyone Else Jumped Off A Bridge..."

Note: The following essay is derived solely from personal observation.

So, you've probably heard the retort: "If everyone else jumped off a bridge, would you do it, too?", maybe from a parent whose child wants something unreasonable (or not so unreasonable), and uses the justification "But everyone else is getting it/doing it/has it!" Maybe your own parents said it to you, or you've said it to you kids. It doesn't have to be a strict parent/child conversation, it could be a conversation between any two people, really. I've heard it come from friends, co-workers, miscellaneous family members, teachers, and probably people with other relationships to the addressee as well, in both the media and in my own life.

There are several problems with this retort. First, and most obviously, it's implying that the person (and whoever else is doing this thing) is somehow stupid or at the least in possession of so poor judgement as to do whatever's popular, regardless of the practical consequences. It always came off as quite insulting and not a little condescending to me, as if the person saying it (especially if that person is an authority figure, like a parent or teacher) did not think highly of the other and thought this person would be so horribly lost without them. Putting someone on the defensive doesn't seem like it's likely to get your point across.

Second, it's usually a completely inappropriate comparison. For example, a teenager wanting to get a tattoo might argue that all their friends are getting tattoos, thus prompting their parents to reply with "If all your friends jumped off a bridge...". While it is true that there are some dangers associated with tattooing, as well as some social stigma in certain groups, among other legitimate objections, there's no real comparison between getting tattooed and jumping off a bridge. Some might argue that the "jumping off a bridge" is just arguing following the group to an absurd conclusion to get the point across. Does it get the point across? Would the teenager in this hypothetical suddenly realize that following the group is not always a good idea and reconsider their stance? I'd hazard to guess probably not.

Third, the argument tries to break the person away from their chosen in-group, which usually leads to poor results. I may write more extensively on my understanding of the dynamics of in-groups and out-groups later, but for this post, I'll simply say that tribalism is alive and well, and people rarely like to go against their chosen tribe, and there are many reasons for this sociologically and perhaps other reasons ranging from the practical to biological.

This was a thought that occurred to me today. And as I consider it, it seemed to me that saying such a thing serves no real purpose, other than to express contempt for the idea or the people who embrace the idea. Should parents and teachers really use this sort of retort on children, especially young children?

Updates and things

It's been awhile since I posted anything, so I thought I'd update you on what's going on. While I have ostensibly working on a NaNoWriMo project, that I do not wish to post until completion, I've not been working hard enough on it, nor have I been writing as much as I should. The past several days have seen little writing from me at all. However, I hope to change that and get back on track again. I've sort of used dreams I've had as a sort of crutch, as it were, and I haven't had any that I remember recently. Or rather none that I remember enough of to make a post about. To be honest, that is good, because it should force me to write other things. However, it has not had that effect, and instead I have written nothing, or very, very little for the past week or so.

There may be a part or two of Chapter 1 that I have yet to post, but I have stalled on it. I feel like I'm falling into my old habit of getting bored with writing and wishing to move on to other things. I do not have that luxury, and I will not allow myself to entertain that thought for long. Y'all can expect more writing soon, and I'm going to try to get back on track with daily postings.

Thanks for reading!

Dreams From Last Night X

It's been a few days since I've written anything, but I had some strange dreams last night. The first involved my partner Rachel and I. I was in some sort of video game-esque mission, involving assassinating particular people in some sort of military complex. I tried it several times, and I was aware that there was a way that you could do it without getting caught, but I didn't succeed and was eventually thrown into a sort of strange prison. There was a way to escape, however, and that's when Rachel became involved. At this point, it was more like a tapletop RPG with a GM and such. It was supposed to be Rachel who got us out, evidently, as she was instructed to find it. It was a strange place with a sort of desert floor, and a large tree in the middle. The kind of tree with the openings in the trunk. There were also massive archives of books, one of which held the key to our escape. We were looking for a particular book, marked with a catalog number that began NCC. We did not ind it in the archives, and Rachel had a conversation with the GM which with them saying "Ththe Gen, go look in the one place you haven't yet," by which they meant the top of the tree. We climbed up and in the center of the treetop was a large ant colony guarding the book. I have a vague notion that they were fire ants, but I can't be sure. Regardless, the GM said we had found the "worst queen of kings" whatever that was supposed to mean. I recall Rachel going for the book, and thinking that too many stings could be fatal, but nothing more after that.

The second dream began with my partner Kai and I meeting a friend of mine and discussing a nearby town that was apparently some sort of conservative utopia. We decided to check it out on a lark. Turns out, my subconscious doesn't really know what a conservative utopia is, because it seemed more like a communist collective than a conservative paradise, honestly. There were no taxes (a seemingly conservative thing), but there were no stores either. All money was communal, and you were given food based on your work output, whatever your work happened to be. I actually wanted to live there, and the person who was speaking to us about it said they needed people, because they were slowly running out of money (which honestly makes sense). I said well, we couldn't afford much, saying $500 was our limit. He said that if we bought a house for $500 (which is less than we pay in rent for this apartment), we would actually get two houses, because they were that desperate for money and people. I thought this was fantastic, and started looking around the town for a suitable house. There was a trailer that met the price that I was not particularly found of, as the idea of living in a trailer did not appeal to me, but we decided to check it out anyway. Kai and my friend were no longer with me, but instead my brother was. I've no idea why. But as we were checking out the house, a group of kids followed us in. Some of the lights didn't work, but the electricity was still on. I started to get the sense that the place was dangerous and in the kitchen, there was some desserts on the counter. One of the kids tried to get a drink of water from the faucet, but the water was brown. I suggested that they leave, as there was nothing here for them, but they were reluctant. I took a piece from one of the desserts and tasted it, and showed them that it was stale and told them to leave. Some of them did, but one wanted to say. I had to resort to threatening to tell the kid's parents (whom I had never met). However, I finally got them out the door, and locked it behind them, which might have been a bad idea. My brother, apparently, was searching the house for money. Like, robbing the place. I have no idea why, However, the tone of the dream had shifted at some point. The house/trailer belonged to a family that were essentially pirates or bandits of some sort. My brother found a purse full of change and picked it up. Then we somehow wound up with a sort of tour group. But the tour guide was possessed or something, and wanted the purse. So we returned it, only we emptied it first. Other things happened, but they are too vague to recall.

Dreams From Last Night IX

Only one I remember in any detail. There was a street fair type thing down the street from my apartment and the main attraction, evidently was Vanilla Ice. Yes, the rapper Vanilla Ice. My partner Kai and I went to check it out and found that Mr. Ice was signing autographs. we were going to go up to the table, but he went off with some girl for a moment. We'll get back to that in a minute, but I wanted to point out that there was a sign on the table saying that autographs were $519.93 a pop. Why? I have no idea.

Anyway, the girl was apparently a foamslinger and she fought a couple rounds with Mr. Ice. I distinctly remember Vanilla Ice using a teardrop shield and a flail, and the young girl using a small round shield and a dagger. We watched them fight and when they were finished I asked to look over the gear. I was sufficiently impressed, so much so that I forgot all about Vanilla Ice and instead wished to speak with this young girl. And young she was, though exactly how young is hard to say. She invited us to come to her house where her parents were cooking out, and we could hang out in the pool while we waited. We went to the place and there were her parents getting ready to get in the pool. They seemed to dislike Kai and I for no apparent reason, so we elected to it and wait. However, somehow I got splashed and Kai advised me I should cover myself, as I was wearing a white shirt. There was more, but it is all very disjointed and fuzzy.

Dreams From Last Night VIII

The following sequence of events was very confused, because I kept waking up and falling back asleep. The earliest I can remember, I was in a place that looked like it could easily be a Mario level. I was on a raised platform over water. For whatever reason, I was talking with a girl or two girls I knew from high school, and I seem to recall plans being made to go visit with one of them. It must have been so, because I began packing clothes, and I put on no less than three layers of clothing for some reason. I remember planning to jump in the water and hoping that things wouldn't get ruined, but I never did, instead finding myself going down the stairs in my parents house and being in the living room. I went out the door and got in my car, someone was with me, but I can't recall who it was. But I drove around town to get to the place I was going. I seem to recall picking someone up or something, because I had to pull into a drive way and there were large dogs laying in it. I, of course, did not wish to hit them, and when we were leaving, I hit a tree to avoid them, crushing the driver's side fender. But I didn't care, and merely continued on.

We arrived at the place and it was a place I knew well, the friend's house where I used to go to play tabletop games. The girl, as it turned out, became an amalgamation of girls I knew from high school. I remember I was still wearing the three layers of clothing and carrying three books. One of the books was, apparently regarding fallacies of Christian beliefs or historical inaccuracies of the Bible or the like, and I seemed to regard it as the most important. There was a big dog, maybe a blood hound, it's hard to recall, who kept jumping on me. I've never liked being jumped on by dogs, and even less as it seemed to be tearing up one of my books, and one of the skirts I was wearing. I was not pleased. Finally we made it to the bedroom/attic and the dog was sent away. at this point I decided to change into a single set of clothes, while my friend (who appeared to be comprised of two hardcore Christian girls I knew, and a couple others who weren't) browsed the books. My friend Jimmy, who I've mentioned died in a car accident many years ago, made a brief appearance, and even in the dream I was aware he was dead, perhaps because I kept waking up and was not fully asleep at the time.

At some point, however, the dream changed. I was still in the same place, but I was no longer with any of my friends, instead I was with some 1950s-esque teenagers having a party. This image was reinforced by the fact that I appeared to be Elvis Presley and I was singing and playing my guitar. I was accompanied by an awkward young man who didn't appear to have a date, and strongly resembled Zack from Saved By The Bell. I, being the person that I am, tried to help him gain some confidence, and it seemed that I worked, as one of the girls ended up sleeping with him. Suddenly, however, the scene changed, and I was reduced to the role of observer. The two of them were out in the woods, and the girl made mention of the fact that they'd had sex more than once. She said something to the effect that doing it out in the woods was to get to know the person, instead of the character he was playing at the party. Then, they spotted an observer. A jock-type, playfully smiling at them while peeking over the edge of a cliff. The girl laughed and said something that suggested she had previously had sex with him as well, and that she was about to again (?) and they both went to help him up. However, instead of climbing up, he pulled the girl off to her death, and tried to pull Zack off as well, but Zack stuck a thumb in his eye. The guy bit Zack's fingers, but eventually his eye popped out and he fell, but the fingers went with him. He got impaled on a tree branch, and did a kind of dying-coughing-laughing and said something that I don't recall. At this point the girl, quite dead, appeared back at the top of the cliff. It seemed clear she intended Zack harm, and he ran back to the campfire and lit it up. The girl, dead and mangled, walked into the fire light and... well, then I woke up.

Email Scammers

I was checking my email a moment ago, and I saw that I had a message on YouTube. Two, actually, and I was, naturally, curious as to what they were about, though it took me a second to realize that the email I was looking at was not the account linked to the YouTube account that I post videos on. Nevertheless, I was interested in what messages I had received.

Turns out they were both the same sort of scam. They said different versions of "Hey Alex, I'm the girl from the gym! Here's my profile on that site I was talking about, message me there ASAP to get this thing going!" And I was like my name ain't Alex and I don't go to the gym. Also, if you addressed me by my name, why do you introduce yourself as "the girl from the gym" and not "Alice from the gym" (one of the messages was from an account that had Alice as their first name). I mean, a vague "hey, I'm that girl you met at the gym" has a better shot, then trying to guess that someone named Alex will fall for this.

My second thought was does this actually ever work? Like seriously, do people forget they had conversations with random girls at the gym? Girls who don't give you their names and then message you on freaking YouTube? Google+, Facebook, email, sure. But a YouTube message? Really? Presumably, you've already hacked someone's Google account, or created fake ones to perpetuate this scam, and you choose YouTube as your mode of conveyance? Like, the only people I've ever interacted with via YouTube messages were people whom I had previously interacted with in the comments. Now that I'm older and wiser, I regret doing so, but it is, alas, far too late for that.

So, why would ever tell someone to message me on freaking YouTube instead of some social media site, or Skype,  or email, or text message? It's literally the last thing I would think of to suggest. Do people actually keep in touch via YouTube messages? Is this a thing?

I don't understand how anyone could possibly fall for such a blatant scam. It's as bad as the ones where the people call you and tell you they heard your computer is running slow, or that they are your credit card company and that your status is good, but they need some information. I just can't figure out why people fall for those things.