Last night, we arrived home from our multi-state holiday tour, and it was our first night back in our own bed. And it brought with it some strange dreams. Evidently, my older sister was getting remarried and I was in charge of the paperwork. why, I don't know. But it seemed that all of my fighting friends were there. In fact, my unit seemed to be in charge of the services. Old Shatterhaze was even there, wearing a diamond again.There were also many people who went to my high school. Even though my sister is four and a half years older than me, there were people both older and younger than me there for some reason. A particular individual whom I never really got along with sat next to me. I asked him politely to go elsewhere and leave me be, but he wouldn't. I got increasingly angry in my appeals, until he finally began sexually harassing me. None of the people around seemed to care, and at this point I left to go find whoever was in charge of the event's security. I wandered for a while and then I awoke.
There was another dream I had, that involved a friend of mine and I in a rivalry over classic toys, and another that involved me wandering around an unknown neighborhood with some people, looking for a music teacher so that he could autograph a series of instruments. But that is all I really remember from last night.
Wednesday, December 31, 2014
Thursday, December 4, 2014
Motivation
Today is not a good day for being productive. I've awoken, but my head is not at all clear. It is filled with the remnants of last night's sleeping pill, and the general haze and lethargy of the morning. In addition, I feel the motivation sapping cold of apathy and depression growing closer.
I had dreams last night. Many dreams. I remember a few, and I shall write of them. A weird combination of Seth MacFarlane characters hijacking Santa Claus's sleigh was one, but perhaps the least interesting.
I remember climbing a mountain. A very high mountain. Toting with me supplies to build some sort of base. It was a sort of launch base for NASA, as I recall. There were others climbing as well, but it seemed to me that they were not so important, and they were going up and down as they pleased. I arrived at the top, and my old friend Jimmy was there already, scouting out the area and finding the best place to set up. We left the supplies and took a helicopter down to report (he knew how to fly it, and that was apparently how he got there. Why I had to climb up with the supplies still baffles me.) Regardless, we were quite disappointed by the reception. It was hostile and discouraging. It changed after that, but I don't remember the rest particularly well.
But this is not a post about dreams. No, it's a post about motivation. In that dream, I was motivated to do those things, despite discouraging circumstance.I must be motivated to write and to make videos despite discouraging circumstance. But I do not feel like I am. I feel like I have no reason to continue doing so. In the dream the prospect of flying helicopters or going up in a rocket was motivation enough, but as for writing, it's difficult and frustrating at times. Making videos is fun, but editing and uploading them takes so much time that I'd rather spend doing other things, because I get so little time to do things I like to do on my own. I know I need to do it. But finding the motivation for it is incredibly difficult. As it is, I am only writing this because I know I must write something today. And this maybe all I manage for the day. I don't even know if I will feel bad for that. So far, this has been a semi-productive writing session, in terms of volume. And in terms of my honest feelings as well. Whether it is entertaining or not is another matter, but honestly, I'm not sure any of my hits are actual people reading it, so maybe I don't need to be entertaining. Whatever, I'll see what I can do.
I had dreams last night. Many dreams. I remember a few, and I shall write of them. A weird combination of Seth MacFarlane characters hijacking Santa Claus's sleigh was one, but perhaps the least interesting.
I remember climbing a mountain. A very high mountain. Toting with me supplies to build some sort of base. It was a sort of launch base for NASA, as I recall. There were others climbing as well, but it seemed to me that they were not so important, and they were going up and down as they pleased. I arrived at the top, and my old friend Jimmy was there already, scouting out the area and finding the best place to set up. We left the supplies and took a helicopter down to report (he knew how to fly it, and that was apparently how he got there. Why I had to climb up with the supplies still baffles me.) Regardless, we were quite disappointed by the reception. It was hostile and discouraging. It changed after that, but I don't remember the rest particularly well.
But this is not a post about dreams. No, it's a post about motivation. In that dream, I was motivated to do those things, despite discouraging circumstance.I must be motivated to write and to make videos despite discouraging circumstance. But I do not feel like I am. I feel like I have no reason to continue doing so. In the dream the prospect of flying helicopters or going up in a rocket was motivation enough, but as for writing, it's difficult and frustrating at times. Making videos is fun, but editing and uploading them takes so much time that I'd rather spend doing other things, because I get so little time to do things I like to do on my own. I know I need to do it. But finding the motivation for it is incredibly difficult. As it is, I am only writing this because I know I must write something today. And this maybe all I manage for the day. I don't even know if I will feel bad for that. So far, this has been a semi-productive writing session, in terms of volume. And in terms of my honest feelings as well. Whether it is entertaining or not is another matter, but honestly, I'm not sure any of my hits are actual people reading it, so maybe I don't need to be entertaining. Whatever, I'll see what I can do.
Tuesday, December 2, 2014
Rites of Passage
The day was rapidly approaching that he would cross the threshold into adulthood. The elders warned him to stay away from the old stone path, but all his friends had done it the year before, but he could not bring himself to do it yet. They teased him and taunted him.
It was on the heels of a particularly sharp barb that he decided to do it, that very night. He and his friends all gathered in a field near the path. It was a crisp autumn night, and the moon shone brightly.
The group slowly made their way to the edge of the path. There it stood before them. His spirit shrunk back from the gravity of the ritual, but he stood firm. He took one step, then another unto the path. His friends were cheering for him and he grew more confident.
Just as he was about to reach the middle a bright light struck him and a terrible sound froze him in his tracks. His friends called to him to run, but he could not move. As it was bearing down upon him he tried to go back, but it was too late. He flew into the air from the impact, and his lifeless body landed by the side of the path, in a pool of blood. His friends scattered.
The next morning a game warden came down the road in a battered old pick up truck. Seeing the body, he lifted it into the bed of the truck. "One less to worry about," he said as he made a mark on a tally sheet. As he drove on, he thought of his son. They were going to go deer hunting next weekend, and it would be his son's first time.
It was on the heels of a particularly sharp barb that he decided to do it, that very night. He and his friends all gathered in a field near the path. It was a crisp autumn night, and the moon shone brightly.
The group slowly made their way to the edge of the path. There it stood before them. His spirit shrunk back from the gravity of the ritual, but he stood firm. He took one step, then another unto the path. His friends were cheering for him and he grew more confident.
Just as he was about to reach the middle a bright light struck him and a terrible sound froze him in his tracks. His friends called to him to run, but he could not move. As it was bearing down upon him he tried to go back, but it was too late. He flew into the air from the impact, and his lifeless body landed by the side of the path, in a pool of blood. His friends scattered.
The next morning a game warden came down the road in a battered old pick up truck. Seeing the body, he lifted it into the bed of the truck. "One less to worry about," he said as he made a mark on a tally sheet. As he drove on, he thought of his son. They were going to go deer hunting next weekend, and it would be his son's first time.
Saturday, November 22, 2014
The Problem With "If Everyone Else Jumped Off A Bridge..."
Note: The following essay is derived solely from personal observation.
So, you've probably heard the retort: "If everyone else jumped off a bridge, would you do it, too?", maybe from a parent whose child wants something unreasonable (or not so unreasonable), and uses the justification "But everyone else is getting it/doing it/has it!" Maybe your own parents said it to you, or you've said it to you kids. It doesn't have to be a strict parent/child conversation, it could be a conversation between any two people, really. I've heard it come from friends, co-workers, miscellaneous family members, teachers, and probably people with other relationships to the addressee as well, in both the media and in my own life.
There are several problems with this retort. First, and most obviously, it's implying that the person (and whoever else is doing this thing) is somehow stupid or at the least in possession of so poor judgement as to do whatever's popular, regardless of the practical consequences. It always came off as quite insulting and not a little condescending to me, as if the person saying it (especially if that person is an authority figure, like a parent or teacher) did not think highly of the other and thought this person would be so horribly lost without them. Putting someone on the defensive doesn't seem like it's likely to get your point across.
Second, it's usually a completely inappropriate comparison. For example, a teenager wanting to get a tattoo might argue that all their friends are getting tattoos, thus prompting their parents to reply with "If all your friends jumped off a bridge...". While it is true that there are some dangers associated with tattooing, as well as some social stigma in certain groups, among other legitimate objections, there's no real comparison between getting tattooed and jumping off a bridge. Some might argue that the "jumping off a bridge" is just arguing following the group to an absurd conclusion to get the point across. Does it get the point across? Would the teenager in this hypothetical suddenly realize that following the group is not always a good idea and reconsider their stance? I'd hazard to guess probably not.
Third, the argument tries to break the person away from their chosen in-group, which usually leads to poor results. I may write more extensively on my understanding of the dynamics of in-groups and out-groups later, but for this post, I'll simply say that tribalism is alive and well, and people rarely like to go against their chosen tribe, and there are many reasons for this sociologically and perhaps other reasons ranging from the practical to biological.
This was a thought that occurred to me today. And as I consider it, it seemed to me that saying such a thing serves no real purpose, other than to express contempt for the idea or the people who embrace the idea. Should parents and teachers really use this sort of retort on children, especially young children?
So, you've probably heard the retort: "If everyone else jumped off a bridge, would you do it, too?", maybe from a parent whose child wants something unreasonable (or not so unreasonable), and uses the justification "But everyone else is getting it/doing it/has it!" Maybe your own parents said it to you, or you've said it to you kids. It doesn't have to be a strict parent/child conversation, it could be a conversation between any two people, really. I've heard it come from friends, co-workers, miscellaneous family members, teachers, and probably people with other relationships to the addressee as well, in both the media and in my own life.
There are several problems with this retort. First, and most obviously, it's implying that the person (and whoever else is doing this thing) is somehow stupid or at the least in possession of so poor judgement as to do whatever's popular, regardless of the practical consequences. It always came off as quite insulting and not a little condescending to me, as if the person saying it (especially if that person is an authority figure, like a parent or teacher) did not think highly of the other and thought this person would be so horribly lost without them. Putting someone on the defensive doesn't seem like it's likely to get your point across.
Second, it's usually a completely inappropriate comparison. For example, a teenager wanting to get a tattoo might argue that all their friends are getting tattoos, thus prompting their parents to reply with "If all your friends jumped off a bridge...". While it is true that there are some dangers associated with tattooing, as well as some social stigma in certain groups, among other legitimate objections, there's no real comparison between getting tattooed and jumping off a bridge. Some might argue that the "jumping off a bridge" is just arguing following the group to an absurd conclusion to get the point across. Does it get the point across? Would the teenager in this hypothetical suddenly realize that following the group is not always a good idea and reconsider their stance? I'd hazard to guess probably not.
Third, the argument tries to break the person away from their chosen in-group, which usually leads to poor results. I may write more extensively on my understanding of the dynamics of in-groups and out-groups later, but for this post, I'll simply say that tribalism is alive and well, and people rarely like to go against their chosen tribe, and there are many reasons for this sociologically and perhaps other reasons ranging from the practical to biological.
This was a thought that occurred to me today. And as I consider it, it seemed to me that saying such a thing serves no real purpose, other than to express contempt for the idea or the people who embrace the idea. Should parents and teachers really use this sort of retort on children, especially young children?
Tuesday, November 18, 2014
Updates and things
It's been awhile since I posted anything, so I thought I'd update you on what's going on. While I have ostensibly working on a NaNoWriMo project, that I do not wish to post until completion, I've not been working hard enough on it, nor have I been writing as much as I should. The past several days have seen little writing from me at all. However, I hope to change that and get back on track again. I've sort of used dreams I've had as a sort of crutch, as it were, and I haven't had any that I remember recently. Or rather none that I remember enough of to make a post about. To be honest, that is good, because it should force me to write other things. However, it has not had that effect, and instead I have written nothing, or very, very little for the past week or so.
There may be a part or two of Chapter 1 that I have yet to post, but I have stalled on it. I feel like I'm falling into my old habit of getting bored with writing and wishing to move on to other things. I do not have that luxury, and I will not allow myself to entertain that thought for long. Y'all can expect more writing soon, and I'm going to try to get back on track with daily postings.
Thanks for reading!
There may be a part or two of Chapter 1 that I have yet to post, but I have stalled on it. I feel like I'm falling into my old habit of getting bored with writing and wishing to move on to other things. I do not have that luxury, and I will not allow myself to entertain that thought for long. Y'all can expect more writing soon, and I'm going to try to get back on track with daily postings.
Thanks for reading!
Monday, November 10, 2014
Dreams From Last Night X
It's been a few days since I've written anything, but I had some strange dreams last night. The first involved my partner Rachel and I. I was in some sort of video game-esque mission, involving assassinating particular people in some sort of military complex. I tried it several times, and I was aware that there was a way that you could do it without getting caught, but I didn't succeed and was eventually thrown into a sort of strange prison. There was a way to escape, however, and that's when Rachel became involved. At this point, it was more like a tapletop RPG with a GM and such. It was supposed to be Rachel who got us out, evidently, as she was instructed to find it. It was a strange place with a sort of desert floor, and a large tree in the middle. The kind of tree with the openings in the trunk. There were also massive archives of books, one of which held the key to our escape. We were looking for a particular book, marked with a catalog number that began NCC. We did not ind it in the archives, and Rachel had a conversation with the GM which with them saying "Ththe Gen, go look in the one place you haven't yet," by which they meant the top of the tree. We climbed up and in the center of the treetop was a large ant colony guarding the book. I have a vague notion that they were fire ants, but I can't be sure. Regardless, the GM said we had found the "worst queen of kings" whatever that was supposed to mean. I recall Rachel going for the book, and thinking that too many stings could be fatal, but nothing more after that.
The second dream began with my partner Kai and I meeting a friend of mine and discussing a nearby town that was apparently some sort of conservative utopia. We decided to check it out on a lark. Turns out, my subconscious doesn't really know what a conservative utopia is, because it seemed more like a communist collective than a conservative paradise, honestly. There were no taxes (a seemingly conservative thing), but there were no stores either. All money was communal, and you were given food based on your work output, whatever your work happened to be. I actually wanted to live there, and the person who was speaking to us about it said they needed people, because they were slowly running out of money (which honestly makes sense). I said well, we couldn't afford much, saying $500 was our limit. He said that if we bought a house for $500 (which is less than we pay in rent for this apartment), we would actually get two houses, because they were that desperate for money and people. I thought this was fantastic, and started looking around the town for a suitable house. There was a trailer that met the price that I was not particularly found of, as the idea of living in a trailer did not appeal to me, but we decided to check it out anyway. Kai and my friend were no longer with me, but instead my brother was. I've no idea why. But as we were checking out the house, a group of kids followed us in. Some of the lights didn't work, but the electricity was still on. I started to get the sense that the place was dangerous and in the kitchen, there was some desserts on the counter. One of the kids tried to get a drink of water from the faucet, but the water was brown. I suggested that they leave, as there was nothing here for them, but they were reluctant. I took a piece from one of the desserts and tasted it, and showed them that it was stale and told them to leave. Some of them did, but one wanted to say. I had to resort to threatening to tell the kid's parents (whom I had never met). However, I finally got them out the door, and locked it behind them, which might have been a bad idea. My brother, apparently, was searching the house for money. Like, robbing the place. I have no idea why, However, the tone of the dream had shifted at some point. The house/trailer belonged to a family that were essentially pirates or bandits of some sort. My brother found a purse full of change and picked it up. Then we somehow wound up with a sort of tour group. But the tour guide was possessed or something, and wanted the purse. So we returned it, only we emptied it first. Other things happened, but they are too vague to recall.
The second dream began with my partner Kai and I meeting a friend of mine and discussing a nearby town that was apparently some sort of conservative utopia. We decided to check it out on a lark. Turns out, my subconscious doesn't really know what a conservative utopia is, because it seemed more like a communist collective than a conservative paradise, honestly. There were no taxes (a seemingly conservative thing), but there were no stores either. All money was communal, and you were given food based on your work output, whatever your work happened to be. I actually wanted to live there, and the person who was speaking to us about it said they needed people, because they were slowly running out of money (which honestly makes sense). I said well, we couldn't afford much, saying $500 was our limit. He said that if we bought a house for $500 (which is less than we pay in rent for this apartment), we would actually get two houses, because they were that desperate for money and people. I thought this was fantastic, and started looking around the town for a suitable house. There was a trailer that met the price that I was not particularly found of, as the idea of living in a trailer did not appeal to me, but we decided to check it out anyway. Kai and my friend were no longer with me, but instead my brother was. I've no idea why. But as we were checking out the house, a group of kids followed us in. Some of the lights didn't work, but the electricity was still on. I started to get the sense that the place was dangerous and in the kitchen, there was some desserts on the counter. One of the kids tried to get a drink of water from the faucet, but the water was brown. I suggested that they leave, as there was nothing here for them, but they were reluctant. I took a piece from one of the desserts and tasted it, and showed them that it was stale and told them to leave. Some of them did, but one wanted to say. I had to resort to threatening to tell the kid's parents (whom I had never met). However, I finally got them out the door, and locked it behind them, which might have been a bad idea. My brother, apparently, was searching the house for money. Like, robbing the place. I have no idea why, However, the tone of the dream had shifted at some point. The house/trailer belonged to a family that were essentially pirates or bandits of some sort. My brother found a purse full of change and picked it up. Then we somehow wound up with a sort of tour group. But the tour guide was possessed or something, and wanted the purse. So we returned it, only we emptied it first. Other things happened, but they are too vague to recall.
Thursday, November 6, 2014
Dreams From Last Night IX
Only one I remember in any detail. There was a street fair type thing down the street from my apartment and the main attraction, evidently was Vanilla Ice. Yes, the rapper Vanilla Ice. My partner Kai and I went to check it out and found that Mr. Ice was signing autographs. we were going to go up to the table, but he went off with some girl for a moment. We'll get back to that in a minute, but I wanted to point out that there was a sign on the table saying that autographs were $519.93 a pop. Why? I have no idea.
Anyway, the girl was apparently a foamslinger and she fought a couple rounds with Mr. Ice. I distinctly remember Vanilla Ice using a teardrop shield and a flail, and the young girl using a small round shield and a dagger. We watched them fight and when they were finished I asked to look over the gear. I was sufficiently impressed, so much so that I forgot all about Vanilla Ice and instead wished to speak with this young girl. And young she was, though exactly how young is hard to say. She invited us to come to her house where her parents were cooking out, and we could hang out in the pool while we waited. We went to the place and there were her parents getting ready to get in the pool. They seemed to dislike Kai and I for no apparent reason, so we elected to it and wait. However, somehow I got splashed and Kai advised me I should cover myself, as I was wearing a white shirt. There was more, but it is all very disjointed and fuzzy.
Anyway, the girl was apparently a foamslinger and she fought a couple rounds with Mr. Ice. I distinctly remember Vanilla Ice using a teardrop shield and a flail, and the young girl using a small round shield and a dagger. We watched them fight and when they were finished I asked to look over the gear. I was sufficiently impressed, so much so that I forgot all about Vanilla Ice and instead wished to speak with this young girl. And young she was, though exactly how young is hard to say. She invited us to come to her house where her parents were cooking out, and we could hang out in the pool while we waited. We went to the place and there were her parents getting ready to get in the pool. They seemed to dislike Kai and I for no apparent reason, so we elected to it and wait. However, somehow I got splashed and Kai advised me I should cover myself, as I was wearing a white shirt. There was more, but it is all very disjointed and fuzzy.
Tuesday, November 4, 2014
Dreams From Last Night VIII
The following sequence of events was very confused, because I kept waking up and falling back asleep. The earliest I can remember, I was in a place that looked like it could easily be a Mario level. I was on a raised platform over water. For whatever reason, I was talking with a girl or two girls I knew from high school, and I seem to recall plans being made to go visit with one of them. It must have been so, because I began packing clothes, and I put on no less than three layers of clothing for some reason. I remember planning to jump in the water and hoping that things wouldn't get ruined, but I never did, instead finding myself going down the stairs in my parents house and being in the living room. I went out the door and got in my car, someone was with me, but I can't recall who it was. But I drove around town to get to the place I was going. I seem to recall picking someone up or something, because I had to pull into a drive way and there were large dogs laying in it. I, of course, did not wish to hit them, and when we were leaving, I hit a tree to avoid them, crushing the driver's side fender. But I didn't care, and merely continued on.
We arrived at the place and it was a place I knew well, the friend's house where I used to go to play tabletop games. The girl, as it turned out, became an amalgamation of girls I knew from high school. I remember I was still wearing the three layers of clothing and carrying three books. One of the books was, apparently regarding fallacies of Christian beliefs or historical inaccuracies of the Bible or the like, and I seemed to regard it as the most important. There was a big dog, maybe a blood hound, it's hard to recall, who kept jumping on me. I've never liked being jumped on by dogs, and even less as it seemed to be tearing up one of my books, and one of the skirts I was wearing. I was not pleased. Finally we made it to the bedroom/attic and the dog was sent away. at this point I decided to change into a single set of clothes, while my friend (who appeared to be comprised of two hardcore Christian girls I knew, and a couple others who weren't) browsed the books. My friend Jimmy, who I've mentioned died in a car accident many years ago, made a brief appearance, and even in the dream I was aware he was dead, perhaps because I kept waking up and was not fully asleep at the time.
At some point, however, the dream changed. I was still in the same place, but I was no longer with any of my friends, instead I was with some 1950s-esque teenagers having a party. This image was reinforced by the fact that I appeared to be Elvis Presley and I was singing and playing my guitar. I was accompanied by an awkward young man who didn't appear to have a date, and strongly resembled Zack from Saved By The Bell. I, being the person that I am, tried to help him gain some confidence, and it seemed that I worked, as one of the girls ended up sleeping with him. Suddenly, however, the scene changed, and I was reduced to the role of observer. The two of them were out in the woods, and the girl made mention of the fact that they'd had sex more than once. She said something to the effect that doing it out in the woods was to get to know the person, instead of the character he was playing at the party. Then, they spotted an observer. A jock-type, playfully smiling at them while peeking over the edge of a cliff. The girl laughed and said something that suggested she had previously had sex with him as well, and that she was about to again (?) and they both went to help him up. However, instead of climbing up, he pulled the girl off to her death, and tried to pull Zack off as well, but Zack stuck a thumb in his eye. The guy bit Zack's fingers, but eventually his eye popped out and he fell, but the fingers went with him. He got impaled on a tree branch, and did a kind of dying-coughing-laughing and said something that I don't recall. At this point the girl, quite dead, appeared back at the top of the cliff. It seemed clear she intended Zack harm, and he ran back to the campfire and lit it up. The girl, dead and mangled, walked into the fire light and... well, then I woke up.
We arrived at the place and it was a place I knew well, the friend's house where I used to go to play tabletop games. The girl, as it turned out, became an amalgamation of girls I knew from high school. I remember I was still wearing the three layers of clothing and carrying three books. One of the books was, apparently regarding fallacies of Christian beliefs or historical inaccuracies of the Bible or the like, and I seemed to regard it as the most important. There was a big dog, maybe a blood hound, it's hard to recall, who kept jumping on me. I've never liked being jumped on by dogs, and even less as it seemed to be tearing up one of my books, and one of the skirts I was wearing. I was not pleased. Finally we made it to the bedroom/attic and the dog was sent away. at this point I decided to change into a single set of clothes, while my friend (who appeared to be comprised of two hardcore Christian girls I knew, and a couple others who weren't) browsed the books. My friend Jimmy, who I've mentioned died in a car accident many years ago, made a brief appearance, and even in the dream I was aware he was dead, perhaps because I kept waking up and was not fully asleep at the time.
At some point, however, the dream changed. I was still in the same place, but I was no longer with any of my friends, instead I was with some 1950s-esque teenagers having a party. This image was reinforced by the fact that I appeared to be Elvis Presley and I was singing and playing my guitar. I was accompanied by an awkward young man who didn't appear to have a date, and strongly resembled Zack from Saved By The Bell. I, being the person that I am, tried to help him gain some confidence, and it seemed that I worked, as one of the girls ended up sleeping with him. Suddenly, however, the scene changed, and I was reduced to the role of observer. The two of them were out in the woods, and the girl made mention of the fact that they'd had sex more than once. She said something to the effect that doing it out in the woods was to get to know the person, instead of the character he was playing at the party. Then, they spotted an observer. A jock-type, playfully smiling at them while peeking over the edge of a cliff. The girl laughed and said something that suggested she had previously had sex with him as well, and that she was about to again (?) and they both went to help him up. However, instead of climbing up, he pulled the girl off to her death, and tried to pull Zack off as well, but Zack stuck a thumb in his eye. The guy bit Zack's fingers, but eventually his eye popped out and he fell, but the fingers went with him. He got impaled on a tree branch, and did a kind of dying-coughing-laughing and said something that I don't recall. At this point the girl, quite dead, appeared back at the top of the cliff. It seemed clear she intended Zack harm, and he ran back to the campfire and lit it up. The girl, dead and mangled, walked into the fire light and... well, then I woke up.
Monday, November 3, 2014
Email Scammers
I was checking my email a moment ago, and I saw that I had a message on YouTube. Two, actually, and I was, naturally, curious as to what they were about, though it took me a second to realize that the email I was looking at was not the account linked to the YouTube account that I post videos on. Nevertheless, I was interested in what messages I had received.
Turns out they were both the same sort of scam. They said different versions of "Hey Alex, I'm the girl from the gym! Here's my profile on that site I was talking about, message me there ASAP to get this thing going!" And I was like my name ain't Alex and I don't go to the gym. Also, if you addressed me by my name, why do you introduce yourself as "the girl from the gym" and not "Alice from the gym" (one of the messages was from an account that had Alice as their first name). I mean, a vague "hey, I'm that girl you met at the gym" has a better shot, then trying to guess that someone named Alex will fall for this.
My second thought was does this actually ever work? Like seriously, do people forget they had conversations with random girls at the gym? Girls who don't give you their names and then message you on freaking YouTube? Google+, Facebook, email, sure. But a YouTube message? Really? Presumably, you've already hacked someone's Google account, or created fake ones to perpetuate this scam, and you choose YouTube as your mode of conveyance? Like, the only people I've ever interacted with via YouTube messages were people whom I had previously interacted with in the comments. Now that I'm older and wiser, I regret doing so, but it is, alas, far too late for that.
So, why would ever tell someone to message me on freaking YouTube instead of some social media site, or Skype, or email, or text message? It's literally the last thing I would think of to suggest. Do people actually keep in touch via YouTube messages? Is this a thing?
I don't understand how anyone could possibly fall for such a blatant scam. It's as bad as the ones where the people call you and tell you they heard your computer is running slow, or that they are your credit card company and that your status is good, but they need some information. I just can't figure out why people fall for those things.
Turns out they were both the same sort of scam. They said different versions of "Hey Alex, I'm the girl from the gym! Here's my profile on that site I was talking about, message me there ASAP to get this thing going!" And I was like my name ain't Alex and I don't go to the gym. Also, if you addressed me by my name, why do you introduce yourself as "the girl from the gym" and not "Alice from the gym" (one of the messages was from an account that had Alice as their first name). I mean, a vague "hey, I'm that girl you met at the gym" has a better shot, then trying to guess that someone named Alex will fall for this.
My second thought was does this actually ever work? Like seriously, do people forget they had conversations with random girls at the gym? Girls who don't give you their names and then message you on freaking YouTube? Google+, Facebook, email, sure. But a YouTube message? Really? Presumably, you've already hacked someone's Google account, or created fake ones to perpetuate this scam, and you choose YouTube as your mode of conveyance? Like, the only people I've ever interacted with via YouTube messages were people whom I had previously interacted with in the comments. Now that I'm older and wiser, I regret doing so, but it is, alas, far too late for that.
So, why would ever tell someone to message me on freaking YouTube instead of some social media site, or Skype, or email, or text message? It's literally the last thing I would think of to suggest. Do people actually keep in touch via YouTube messages? Is this a thing?
I don't understand how anyone could possibly fall for such a blatant scam. It's as bad as the ones where the people call you and tell you they heard your computer is running slow, or that they are your credit card company and that your status is good, but they need some information. I just can't figure out why people fall for those things.
Monday, October 27, 2014
Dreams From Last Night VII
No high school dreams here, though one person that I knew from high school and still keep in fleeting contact with did turn up. The first and perhaps only dream I remember started out strangely and took many shifts over it's course, never losing the weirdness. First thing I remember, there was someone stranded on a tropical island. A large tropical island with many people on other parts, but somehow they were stranded, they may have been injured, but I'm not sure if my mind isn't adding that detail after the fact. Regardless, I may or may not have been part of a crew that was sent to rescue this person. Our ship was an old wooden sailing ship, and why not? We couldn't get too near the beach because of the rocks, but we sent a row boat over. Well, they found the person easily, and sent part of the away team back to the ship to report and to guard it, and the rest of us (I think) stayed on the beach with this fellow. After that, it got kind of really weird and nightmarish. I noticed, that some of our people had just up and vanished. We were frequently going back and forth from the ship, and there had been a large fire we started at night, but now... people were missing. I didn't like it one bit.
And so the first setting shift occurred. No longer was there a possibly injured castaway nor a sailing ship. The beach was replaced by a house. Not a scary, dilapidated old manse, or a rundown abandoned house. No, it was a bright cheery modern house. Single level, well-furnished, a nice place to live. Except there were still people missing. My friends were missing. Eventually I discovered that the wall behind a series of couches opened into some sort of maze. I think it was at least vaguely extradimensional (whatever that means), but I seem to recall that the walls became permeable rather than opening, and the rooms in the maze were connected almost randomly. In any event, it was here that I discovered my friends. I was quite glad, even more so when I managed to find my way back out with my good friend Mandy. Now, thinking I knew the way out, I advised her to wait out here while I went and found the others. I entered the maze once more. I found a group of people and told them I think I found the way out, but we agreed that if we waited in what we thought was a central location, the others would eventually find us.
This seemed like good sense to me, so we waited. I played a guitar to pass the time. I played far better than I play in real life, of course, and I was completely absorbed in my playing. Next thing I know, I'm out in the living room again, and only Mandy is with me. I panic, as one might expect. I recall thinking that maybe if you stand still long enough, the maze teleports you elsewhere, but I even in the dream that sounded stupid to me. I tore at the couch cushions, and the closets on the wall trying to get back in but to no avail. At this point the order of events becomes confused for me. I was still playing the guitar, and a friend of mine (the one from high school) come into the room and asks me what I'm doing. Naturally, I don't think about the tearing up the living room of this house, but of the playing and I say something about how he can still play bass in the band or something.
Then Mandy and I wandered outside and talked to some people, all the while I was still playing. We wandered back in to the living room, and finally I stop playing, and Mandy wanders into a different part of the house. I was absolutely terrified. I didn't know if she would disappear again or not, and I couldn't follow her, as I was paralyzed with fear and indecision. Then, at last, I got a message from my friend Ginny, saying that she was sorry that they were taking so long getting food and they were on their way back now. The sheer amount of relief I felt cannot be adequately expressed in words. Then I saw my dear partner Rachel walking past the window to the door, and I very nearly lost control. I ran to the door and greeted her by throwing my arms around her and nearly crushing her with enthusiastic hugs. She seemed equally happy to see me, and I was glad. The entire experience had been a terrible ordeal for me, although, apparently, I didn't always recognize it. I was so very glad to have them all back.
There were other snippets of dreams, but I believe I will leave them out this time. I don't feel like writing anymore, after I've written and remembered all that. The emotions are too strong. When I think about the terror I felt at the thought of losing my friends, and my partner, of my own inability to act, and of the things that I should have done (like check on Mandy) and the horrible realization that I cannot be sure that what I saw at the end was truly the return of those important to me, or some horrible trick of the maze or the house.... Maybe I should let it go. "It was all just a dream," but then again, the emotions and their effects are absolutely real.
And so the first setting shift occurred. No longer was there a possibly injured castaway nor a sailing ship. The beach was replaced by a house. Not a scary, dilapidated old manse, or a rundown abandoned house. No, it was a bright cheery modern house. Single level, well-furnished, a nice place to live. Except there were still people missing. My friends were missing. Eventually I discovered that the wall behind a series of couches opened into some sort of maze. I think it was at least vaguely extradimensional (whatever that means), but I seem to recall that the walls became permeable rather than opening, and the rooms in the maze were connected almost randomly. In any event, it was here that I discovered my friends. I was quite glad, even more so when I managed to find my way back out with my good friend Mandy. Now, thinking I knew the way out, I advised her to wait out here while I went and found the others. I entered the maze once more. I found a group of people and told them I think I found the way out, but we agreed that if we waited in what we thought was a central location, the others would eventually find us.
This seemed like good sense to me, so we waited. I played a guitar to pass the time. I played far better than I play in real life, of course, and I was completely absorbed in my playing. Next thing I know, I'm out in the living room again, and only Mandy is with me. I panic, as one might expect. I recall thinking that maybe if you stand still long enough, the maze teleports you elsewhere, but I even in the dream that sounded stupid to me. I tore at the couch cushions, and the closets on the wall trying to get back in but to no avail. At this point the order of events becomes confused for me. I was still playing the guitar, and a friend of mine (the one from high school) come into the room and asks me what I'm doing. Naturally, I don't think about the tearing up the living room of this house, but of the playing and I say something about how he can still play bass in the band or something.
Then Mandy and I wandered outside and talked to some people, all the while I was still playing. We wandered back in to the living room, and finally I stop playing, and Mandy wanders into a different part of the house. I was absolutely terrified. I didn't know if she would disappear again or not, and I couldn't follow her, as I was paralyzed with fear and indecision. Then, at last, I got a message from my friend Ginny, saying that she was sorry that they were taking so long getting food and they were on their way back now. The sheer amount of relief I felt cannot be adequately expressed in words. Then I saw my dear partner Rachel walking past the window to the door, and I very nearly lost control. I ran to the door and greeted her by throwing my arms around her and nearly crushing her with enthusiastic hugs. She seemed equally happy to see me, and I was glad. The entire experience had been a terrible ordeal for me, although, apparently, I didn't always recognize it. I was so very glad to have them all back.
There were other snippets of dreams, but I believe I will leave them out this time. I don't feel like writing anymore, after I've written and remembered all that. The emotions are too strong. When I think about the terror I felt at the thought of losing my friends, and my partner, of my own inability to act, and of the things that I should have done (like check on Mandy) and the horrible realization that I cannot be sure that what I saw at the end was truly the return of those important to me, or some horrible trick of the maze or the house.... Maybe I should let it go. "It was all just a dream," but then again, the emotions and their effects are absolutely real.
Saturday, October 25, 2014
Dreams From Last Night VI
Last night, I had some odd dreams, with the high school themes strong once again. The first I can remember involved attending a foam fighting event I enjoy called Ragnarok. I seem to recall that my unit was the only one on the field, for some reason or other, and we decided to pick up things. Trash and the like. We did so, and I wandered away for some reason, and when I returned they had already begun to leave. They had gathered my things, but as I followed them I picked up many things that they dropped, including a good deal of my gear. I was highly annoyed, by this. I also overheard a couple people not in my unit discussing picking things up, because we had helped out. I returned to our camp and talked about this with people, and I discovered a few people I knew from high school were in the unit when they are not, really. Of course, in the dream I thought nothing of it. After that I left the camp again to meet two other people I knew from high school, who were new to the event, but on the way the tone shifted. No longer was I at Ragnarok, but I was on a space station of some sort. There was some discussion of anime going on, but the main thing I remember is that a person that I met when I moved to Ohio (after college, mind you) was there. I talked to here, with the people I knew from high school. Funnily enough, all of us were wearing sweatshirts with my high school's mascot, including the person I didn't attend high school with. I asked her where she got it, and she said that someone had given it to her because they both liked Dawson's Creek. One of the girls who went to high school with me then informed me that the person who gave her the shirt was married to another person I didn't meet until I moved here, and referred to them by name. I accepted this, and we continued on to our destination.
I woke up at some point, and in the shadowy area between sleep and waking, my group went to a bar on this space station, prompting the bartender, a stereotypical 19th century prospector/Old West character robot, to voice complaints about giving the rest of the staff the night off moments before. In walked a robot that appeared to be a version of Bender from Futurama though in a "chibi" style, who ordered "champeanutbutter", I laughed at the concept of peanutbutter flavored champaign aloud, and thus woke myself up fully, ending the dream entirely.
Another dream I had involved being back at high school, never being able to close my locker. I did, however, receive some strange awards for championing soda pop, or something. The two main memorable parts of this dream were first, a girl I didn't meet until college was there, and second, the unexplained corpses outside the school. The girl is actually so much younger than me that we weren't even in high school at the same time, and didn't attend the same school, but of course, dreams don't care. I went to talk to her at her locker and she told me she was moving away. I was very disheartened by this, and asked her if she still had my phone number. She said she didn't think so as she was walking out of the school. I followed her and gave it to her. Her mother was in the parking lot waiting, and she told her mom to wait a minute while I gave her my number, and then they left. Now, for the corpses. So, as I was trying to go back in so I could go to class, I realized that there were emergency vehicles all over the parking lot. Now, I had memories of there being two dead bodies on the blacktop before, and so I was entirely unconcerned with this development. Well, not entirely unconcerned. I walked towards the door, and they had the bodies laid out in the middle of the sidewalk, uncovered. This was profoundly disturbing to me. I overheard someone saying they needed to figure out why they died, and I recall thinking that they froze to death. How I came to this conclusion, I don't really know, but I decided to go to a different door to enter, because I didn't know if the emergency crews would let me pass, and more to the point, I didn't really want to see the bodies any closer.
I woke up at some point, and in the shadowy area between sleep and waking, my group went to a bar on this space station, prompting the bartender, a stereotypical 19th century prospector/Old West character robot, to voice complaints about giving the rest of the staff the night off moments before. In walked a robot that appeared to be a version of Bender from Futurama though in a "chibi" style, who ordered "champeanutbutter", I laughed at the concept of peanutbutter flavored champaign aloud, and thus woke myself up fully, ending the dream entirely.
Another dream I had involved being back at high school, never being able to close my locker. I did, however, receive some strange awards for championing soda pop, or something. The two main memorable parts of this dream were first, a girl I didn't meet until college was there, and second, the unexplained corpses outside the school. The girl is actually so much younger than me that we weren't even in high school at the same time, and didn't attend the same school, but of course, dreams don't care. I went to talk to her at her locker and she told me she was moving away. I was very disheartened by this, and asked her if she still had my phone number. She said she didn't think so as she was walking out of the school. I followed her and gave it to her. Her mother was in the parking lot waiting, and she told her mom to wait a minute while I gave her my number, and then they left. Now, for the corpses. So, as I was trying to go back in so I could go to class, I realized that there were emergency vehicles all over the parking lot. Now, I had memories of there being two dead bodies on the blacktop before, and so I was entirely unconcerned with this development. Well, not entirely unconcerned. I walked towards the door, and they had the bodies laid out in the middle of the sidewalk, uncovered. This was profoundly disturbing to me. I overheard someone saying they needed to figure out why they died, and I recall thinking that they froze to death. How I came to this conclusion, I don't really know, but I decided to go to a different door to enter, because I didn't know if the emergency crews would let me pass, and more to the point, I didn't really want to see the bodies any closer.
Friday, October 24, 2014
Dreams From Last Night V
My sleeping pills are generally good for giving me bizarre dreams. And last night was no exception. The first I recall was rather cinematic.I don't recall having an active role in it at all. There was a man in a rather odd outfit, some sort of protective suit. He was protecting a small group of people from harm from some nebulous and unknown threat, but he went for a run, and a young boy helped him gear up before hand. When he finished and returned, he sat in a diner that the boy, a woman, and another man were in. The boy moved to take food to the protector man, but the other man called him to himself first. I understood the second man to be kind of the leader, though not by any virtue I could see. The protector man then stood and sat at the table next to the leader man, and the woman and boy served the protector man first. The leader man didn't seem to like this and commented that the protector man "smelled bad", presumably from running, and he needed to go to a different table. Unfortunately, that's as far as the dream went, but I think it's a good seed for a later story.
The second dream I recall, I was at my paternal grandmother's old house, or one very like it, and my cousins, among others, were there. I was also conscious of a change in timeline, as the old garage (of which I have some amusing stories), was still standing, but I knew that it was going to be gone and I seemed to be the age I am now, as opposed to younger. However, a severe storm had whipped up and we all, had taken refuge in the clubhouse that used to stand behind the driveway, itself an anachronism that I didn't think about. In real life, it had been a free standing wooden structure five or so feet off the ground. In my dream it was much the same, except there was a zip line across the driveway (which would later be a river gorge, but I'm jumping ahead), as well as a lower level that consisted of a castle-like stone structure. Why we took refuge here instead of inside the house or in the basement is beyond me.
However, that is where we took refuge. Now, when I say we, I mean myself and apparently, a bunch of the action figures and toys I had when I was a kid, or toys that I might have liked as a kid. Also, fictional characters, including, notably, one Victor Trajian who you might have seen mentioned in my writings.
In any event, the storm passed and I took the zipline across what was now a river gorge, for some reason. The garage's roof had collapsed, I noted, confirming my knowledge that it was not long for this world, but otherwise things seemed alright. I went to the main house and did some things I don't recall, but it came to my attention that one of my cousins intended to do me harm, for some reason. So, I retreated to the zipline to find Samus Aran waiting for me on the other side. She crossed to me and told me something I don't recall, and then crossing the zipline came the teenage mutant ninja turtle, Leonardo. He told me that he was no longer a teenager (and he did look older, to be sure, and resembled the costume from the old movie from the early 90s, though aged and scarred), he also told me he was an agent, an assassin if I would, like a true ninja. He swung one of his swords, but I had a wooden sword of my own from somewhere that I was able to parry with. Samus, however, came to my rescue and drove him off. I wisely said to her that I was sure that was my cousin who meant me harm, and he would surely be back in a different guise. I said something regarding the importance of family, and embraced my protector, even in her bulky armor, and assured her that she was part of my family.
Again, an interesting seed for a story for later use. I rather like it.
The second dream I recall, I was at my paternal grandmother's old house, or one very like it, and my cousins, among others, were there. I was also conscious of a change in timeline, as the old garage (of which I have some amusing stories), was still standing, but I knew that it was going to be gone and I seemed to be the age I am now, as opposed to younger. However, a severe storm had whipped up and we all, had taken refuge in the clubhouse that used to stand behind the driveway, itself an anachronism that I didn't think about. In real life, it had been a free standing wooden structure five or so feet off the ground. In my dream it was much the same, except there was a zip line across the driveway (which would later be a river gorge, but I'm jumping ahead), as well as a lower level that consisted of a castle-like stone structure. Why we took refuge here instead of inside the house or in the basement is beyond me.
However, that is where we took refuge. Now, when I say we, I mean myself and apparently, a bunch of the action figures and toys I had when I was a kid, or toys that I might have liked as a kid. Also, fictional characters, including, notably, one Victor Trajian who you might have seen mentioned in my writings.
In any event, the storm passed and I took the zipline across what was now a river gorge, for some reason. The garage's roof had collapsed, I noted, confirming my knowledge that it was not long for this world, but otherwise things seemed alright. I went to the main house and did some things I don't recall, but it came to my attention that one of my cousins intended to do me harm, for some reason. So, I retreated to the zipline to find Samus Aran waiting for me on the other side. She crossed to me and told me something I don't recall, and then crossing the zipline came the teenage mutant ninja turtle, Leonardo. He told me that he was no longer a teenager (and he did look older, to be sure, and resembled the costume from the old movie from the early 90s, though aged and scarred), he also told me he was an agent, an assassin if I would, like a true ninja. He swung one of his swords, but I had a wooden sword of my own from somewhere that I was able to parry with. Samus, however, came to my rescue and drove him off. I wisely said to her that I was sure that was my cousin who meant me harm, and he would surely be back in a different guise. I said something regarding the importance of family, and embraced my protector, even in her bulky armor, and assured her that she was part of my family.
Again, an interesting seed for a story for later use. I rather like it.
Thursday, October 23, 2014
Dreams From Last Night IV
The theme of my dreams was once again revolving around high school, and high school activities. The first I can recall involved me returning to high school, to get my diploma because, apparently. I flunked phys. ed. (I actually did well in P.E., because I participated and junk.) Other people who graduated with me were there, and they were certainly having more problems than me, as many of them had also failed Health Education. How is beyond me, but, anyway, my high school gym teacher Mr. Gaddis, had not come in yet. It appeared late in the school year, and when Mr. Gaddis arrived, same as he was eight years ago, he said to me that I was lucky because he wouldn't have time to do Health, but I could make up P.E. no problem. So I sat in on a class, that wasn't at all P.E. like. It was in desks, and apparently, in a hall way. The dream rapidly shifted tone, and there was some sort of race relation issue going down. I'm not entirely sure on what was going on, but it seemed that some people of color were organizing and protesting, and I, being the person that I am, joined them, as did several other Caucasian people in the class. The details of the problem elude me, and it didn't seem to be an issue with the school, the students, or the class or faculty. At some point also, I had my head combed with one of those nit combs, and it produced a full comb of large, bloated, multicolored mating pairs of fleas... not lice, fleas. Red and white were the primary colors of these fleas, but there were some black ones and some brown ones as well. At this point, I decided it was going to be easier to just shave my head (an act which I have considered doing lately, sans the flea infestation). In reality, humans aren't particularly good hosts for fleas, but dream logic doesn't care. I recall little else from that dream except that I began watching or playing some sort of horror movie or game that involved a Predator from the film series of the same name.
The second dream I can recall involved two of my close friends from high school, one of whom is still my close the friend, and the other who was killed in a car accident our sophomore year. I was with the first of the two, Brent, in Chicago, doing something I'm not clear on the details. Later, he was working at a McDonald's and I was helping him (in high school, he really did work at Mickey D's), then we were driving on south, and we came to a gas station that was very similar to one in the town I grew up in, after going down a stretch of road that was very similar to a town that was nearby. A major difference, however, was that there were a lot of strip malls and the like around, which was not at all like those little, rural towns in southern Illinois. However, it was in one of these little strip malls that I ran into my other friend, Jimmy. Somehow, a conversation regarding the secret service happened, and he told me that there was a secret service headquarters in Dearborn, Michigan. And I said yeah, there's only one in every state, and you won't find them in Detroit (ha-ha!) or Lansing, because they want to remain... secret. All of the problems with this are entirely obvious to me in the waking world, but again, dream logic.
The conversation then shifted to a device he was building in Minecraft, as part of a particularly famous server of let's players, that he was evidently on. He was building a mock up in real life out of Lego bricks. I thought this was incredibly cool. He showed me what he had done, and explained what he planned to do, and where he was having trouble. I, as well-acquainted as I was with the group he associated with, gave him advice on who to seek advice from, erudite wisdom of the highest measure. It never occurred to me in the dream, that he, being a member of this server, was far more qualified than I to judge who he should or should not solicit the help of, based not solely on skills, but scheduling, projects, other obligations they might have, etc. In short, in my dreams, I am apparently, a pompous ass.
The second dream I can recall involved two of my close friends from high school, one of whom is still my close the friend, and the other who was killed in a car accident our sophomore year. I was with the first of the two, Brent, in Chicago, doing something I'm not clear on the details. Later, he was working at a McDonald's and I was helping him (in high school, he really did work at Mickey D's), then we were driving on south, and we came to a gas station that was very similar to one in the town I grew up in, after going down a stretch of road that was very similar to a town that was nearby. A major difference, however, was that there were a lot of strip malls and the like around, which was not at all like those little, rural towns in southern Illinois. However, it was in one of these little strip malls that I ran into my other friend, Jimmy. Somehow, a conversation regarding the secret service happened, and he told me that there was a secret service headquarters in Dearborn, Michigan. And I said yeah, there's only one in every state, and you won't find them in Detroit (ha-ha!) or Lansing, because they want to remain... secret. All of the problems with this are entirely obvious to me in the waking world, but again, dream logic.
The conversation then shifted to a device he was building in Minecraft, as part of a particularly famous server of let's players, that he was evidently on. He was building a mock up in real life out of Lego bricks. I thought this was incredibly cool. He showed me what he had done, and explained what he planned to do, and where he was having trouble. I, as well-acquainted as I was with the group he associated with, gave him advice on who to seek advice from, erudite wisdom of the highest measure. It never occurred to me in the dream, that he, being a member of this server, was far more qualified than I to judge who he should or should not solicit the help of, based not solely on skills, but scheduling, projects, other obligations they might have, etc. In short, in my dreams, I am apparently, a pompous ass.
Wednesday, October 22, 2014
A Question or Two
For you, readers.
I've been trying to produce daily content here, and for the most part I have. But I'm at a cross-roads here. The prologue of my story is finished. It needs polishing and rewriting, but the basis is complete. So, I'll put the question to you. Do you want me to continue posting first draft pieces from this story, and any random bits and bobs I write in the mean time? Or would you rather have a more focused, finish product, and I will post other things on a daily basis?
If you want the latter, what do you want me to write? More fantasy, sci-fi, poetry, non-fiction? I do have a few ideas regarding literary analyses, and other such things percolating.
The issue I am seeming to run into lately is that with my video projects, I may be spreading myself too thin, creatively, and I might need to focus my efforts. I am still writing at least a thousand words a day, and my writing time is not infringed upon. Even so, if I feel as if I might need to focus on a single writing project. Buuuuut.... that seems to go against the general spirit of this endeavor.I want to explore as many avenues as possible. I do spend a lot of time during the day goofing off and working on neither writing nor videos, nor other obligations. So, that's why I've put it to you.
Tell me what you think.
I've been trying to produce daily content here, and for the most part I have. But I'm at a cross-roads here. The prologue of my story is finished. It needs polishing and rewriting, but the basis is complete. So, I'll put the question to you. Do you want me to continue posting first draft pieces from this story, and any random bits and bobs I write in the mean time? Or would you rather have a more focused, finish product, and I will post other things on a daily basis?
If you want the latter, what do you want me to write? More fantasy, sci-fi, poetry, non-fiction? I do have a few ideas regarding literary analyses, and other such things percolating.
The issue I am seeming to run into lately is that with my video projects, I may be spreading myself too thin, creatively, and I might need to focus my efforts. I am still writing at least a thousand words a day, and my writing time is not infringed upon. Even so, if I feel as if I might need to focus on a single writing project. Buuuuut.... that seems to go against the general spirit of this endeavor.I want to explore as many avenues as possible. I do spend a lot of time during the day goofing off and working on neither writing nor videos, nor other obligations. So, that's why I've put it to you.
Tell me what you think.
Dreams From Last Night III
Last night's dreams were not bad. Worth telling, however. The first I recall, I don't recall much. My brother and one of his childhood friends (who was a very small child indeed in my dream), made a horrendous mess in my parents' upstairs bathroom. They, apparently, poured... olive oil all over the floor. So, I was, naturally upset by this, and it seemed to be my birthday or something, so I was making them clean it. The friend, whose name was (and still might be, as far as I'm aware) Adam, was not being particularly helpful, and I was angry, so I told him he had to go home. It was quite cold outside, snow on the ground and all that. I felt bad about making him walk in the cold so I wanted to invite him to play with everyone else outside instead. The most logical thing, of course. But, he, in his reluctance, had hidden in my partner's tablet, so I was chasing him around, 16-bit style, trying to ask him to come and play with us. Meanwhile, my brother had gotten the other people there to pester my brother about getting me to make the cupcakes I was, apparently supposed to make. Quite strange indeed.
The other dreams I recall were both basketball related. When I was younger, I didn't much care for basketball, I tried out for the team in junior high, but didn't make it. I was short and not very coordinated or athletic at the time. I'm still short, 5'4", and probably still not very coordinated or athletic, though probably slightly more so than I had been, but I digress. I started enjoying watching basketball, and even shooting around a bit in my late teens and early twenties, but never anything serious as far as the playing went, and with basketball season around the corner, I've been watching a bit of it lately.
In any event, in my dreams, I was actually playing, with quite a few people from my high school, in what resembled my old high school gym. I was playing point guard, unsurprisingly, and doing acceptable work. The coach appeared to be a friend of mine who is quite a bit older than me, and has no connection to either my high school or basketball as far as I'm aware. He instructed us that our main shooter (a guy I knew from high school, who was a fairly decent basketballer) was doing it wrong, and he was actually a better shot with his left hand, but he couldn't get passed the "shoot with your dominant hand" thing. I also noted that he was favoring his left shoulder as if it was injured, but in the fuzzy logic of the dream I did not make the connection. The team I was on was mostly guys, and the team we were playing was mostly girls. I've no idea the significance of this, or if it's relevant, but I remember that fairly clearly. I also tried to be a team leader and get people doing what they were supposed to, but I don't know how that worked out, because I woke up shortly after.
The second basketball dream, was a bit different. Still on a team, some people were from my high school, some not. I was mostly passing and shooting. It seemed to be some sort of practice game, half-court and the other team... well, I don't really know if there even was another team, but we were acting as if there was. Anyway, the shots from many people, myself included were pretty bad. I was doing alright with passes and dribbles, and towards the end, I found my spot in the mid-range. Evidently, in my dreams, I'm not so good at the layups and inside game, but mid-range jumpers are my thing. Okay. Having hit my stride, I was pretty excited, and when the game/practice/whatever ended, I was talking with another person (who I thought of as the other guard, or another point guard, I'm not too clear), and the topic of my performance came up. He said something about everyone loving me, and I said "Everyone already loves me, what are you talking about? Who wouldn't love me?" after that gem, I got serious and said that he got more points than me, a statement which was backed up by someone else, but I said I thought I had gotten a few assists. (A stat in my mind that is more important for point guards than baskets made). After that, I woke up.
The other dreams I recall were both basketball related. When I was younger, I didn't much care for basketball, I tried out for the team in junior high, but didn't make it. I was short and not very coordinated or athletic at the time. I'm still short, 5'4", and probably still not very coordinated or athletic, though probably slightly more so than I had been, but I digress. I started enjoying watching basketball, and even shooting around a bit in my late teens and early twenties, but never anything serious as far as the playing went, and with basketball season around the corner, I've been watching a bit of it lately.
In any event, in my dreams, I was actually playing, with quite a few people from my high school, in what resembled my old high school gym. I was playing point guard, unsurprisingly, and doing acceptable work. The coach appeared to be a friend of mine who is quite a bit older than me, and has no connection to either my high school or basketball as far as I'm aware. He instructed us that our main shooter (a guy I knew from high school, who was a fairly decent basketballer) was doing it wrong, and he was actually a better shot with his left hand, but he couldn't get passed the "shoot with your dominant hand" thing. I also noted that he was favoring his left shoulder as if it was injured, but in the fuzzy logic of the dream I did not make the connection. The team I was on was mostly guys, and the team we were playing was mostly girls. I've no idea the significance of this, or if it's relevant, but I remember that fairly clearly. I also tried to be a team leader and get people doing what they were supposed to, but I don't know how that worked out, because I woke up shortly after.
The second basketball dream, was a bit different. Still on a team, some people were from my high school, some not. I was mostly passing and shooting. It seemed to be some sort of practice game, half-court and the other team... well, I don't really know if there even was another team, but we were acting as if there was. Anyway, the shots from many people, myself included were pretty bad. I was doing alright with passes and dribbles, and towards the end, I found my spot in the mid-range. Evidently, in my dreams, I'm not so good at the layups and inside game, but mid-range jumpers are my thing. Okay. Having hit my stride, I was pretty excited, and when the game/practice/whatever ended, I was talking with another person (who I thought of as the other guard, or another point guard, I'm not too clear), and the topic of my performance came up. He said something about everyone loving me, and I said "Everyone already loves me, what are you talking about? Who wouldn't love me?" after that gem, I got serious and said that he got more points than me, a statement which was backed up by someone else, but I said I thought I had gotten a few assists. (A stat in my mind that is more important for point guards than baskets made). After that, I woke up.
Sunday, October 19, 2014
Dreams From Last Night II
(Possible Trigger Warning: Sexual assault)
More strange dreams. I only remember one with any clarity, but there are many fragments that I remember, mostly the sort of dreams that I am trying to wake up and struggling desperately to do so. Fortunately today, those were not as terrifying as they sometimes are, rather a minor inconvenience.
As for the dream I remember, it was very strange indeed. I don't recall how it began, but the earliest part I can recall clearly featured me in a sort of high school-like setting (as seems to be the case frequently these days, but that's a tale for another time), and an assignment to fill out a crossword grid with the names of people you know, and then use the names you wrote to replace names in sentences that corresponded to the numbers. Most of them were fairly normal, but the last I can recall, was a very explicit description of being sexually assaulted.To make matters worse, it mentioned Brad Pitt's role in Fight Club as a guideline, for reasons I can only guess.
At this point, the dream shifted, placing me in the role of Brad Pitt in a film that certainly was not Fight Club. Nor was it a film that I recognize at all, now that I am awake. But nonetheless, I was thrust into this action role. The first details elude me, but eventually, the person aiding me and I were to sneak into a Turkish embassy and... do something that was rather vague and unclear. I recall telling this person that we would need to complete a military uniform as a disguise, but first we'd go in and scope it out. We looked around the embassy, and then as we were leaving alarms started going off and guards... that did not look like guards at all, but rather slightly overweight, greasy blond haired computer techs with thick framed glasses, all of them identical, began searching for us. We casually walked out of the lobby, but as we did, we were recognized, and so began the chase scene, of course.
The person and I ran in different directions. The embassy apparently released dogs, but not attack dogs as you'd expect, but little yappy dogs. None the less, the dream became very video gamey at that point, and for some reason I had a gun. I tried to hide, but the dogs found me, so I had to fight my way out, and I found myself in a very upscale neighborhood, with lots of mansions and expensive stores, one advertising a hat for $537 (people say that in dreams, you can't recognize numbers, but I've never had that problem). I continued fleeing and found myself in a building that had a shower room, and decided to use it. There was a person in there already, who told me that they would take care of my clothes as well, and if I needed anything just ask. So, I took a shower, and when I exited, the building was filled with robots. Hostile to me, of course. Again with no warning or knowledge of how, I had acquired a rocket launcher, which evidently, had nuclear warheads, as I remember thinking that I was too close, and a few minutes later, my father, who was somehow in the building now, asked me what was going on, so I asked him for a first aid kit to heal my large dose of radiation, because video games. I woke up after this, and I tried to recapture the dream, but I never really did, all the dreams I remember after are fragmentary and incoherent (as if this one /was/ coherent). I do remember my parents being in several others, however, but in varying capacities. I wonder if my dreams are ever not strange? I never remember them if they are!
More strange dreams. I only remember one with any clarity, but there are many fragments that I remember, mostly the sort of dreams that I am trying to wake up and struggling desperately to do so. Fortunately today, those were not as terrifying as they sometimes are, rather a minor inconvenience.
As for the dream I remember, it was very strange indeed. I don't recall how it began, but the earliest part I can recall clearly featured me in a sort of high school-like setting (as seems to be the case frequently these days, but that's a tale for another time), and an assignment to fill out a crossword grid with the names of people you know, and then use the names you wrote to replace names in sentences that corresponded to the numbers. Most of them were fairly normal, but the last I can recall, was a very explicit description of being sexually assaulted.To make matters worse, it mentioned Brad Pitt's role in Fight Club as a guideline, for reasons I can only guess.
At this point, the dream shifted, placing me in the role of Brad Pitt in a film that certainly was not Fight Club. Nor was it a film that I recognize at all, now that I am awake. But nonetheless, I was thrust into this action role. The first details elude me, but eventually, the person aiding me and I were to sneak into a Turkish embassy and... do something that was rather vague and unclear. I recall telling this person that we would need to complete a military uniform as a disguise, but first we'd go in and scope it out. We looked around the embassy, and then as we were leaving alarms started going off and guards... that did not look like guards at all, but rather slightly overweight, greasy blond haired computer techs with thick framed glasses, all of them identical, began searching for us. We casually walked out of the lobby, but as we did, we were recognized, and so began the chase scene, of course.
The person and I ran in different directions. The embassy apparently released dogs, but not attack dogs as you'd expect, but little yappy dogs. None the less, the dream became very video gamey at that point, and for some reason I had a gun. I tried to hide, but the dogs found me, so I had to fight my way out, and I found myself in a very upscale neighborhood, with lots of mansions and expensive stores, one advertising a hat for $537 (people say that in dreams, you can't recognize numbers, but I've never had that problem). I continued fleeing and found myself in a building that had a shower room, and decided to use it. There was a person in there already, who told me that they would take care of my clothes as well, and if I needed anything just ask. So, I took a shower, and when I exited, the building was filled with robots. Hostile to me, of course. Again with no warning or knowledge of how, I had acquired a rocket launcher, which evidently, had nuclear warheads, as I remember thinking that I was too close, and a few minutes later, my father, who was somehow in the building now, asked me what was going on, so I asked him for a first aid kit to heal my large dose of radiation, because video games. I woke up after this, and I tried to recapture the dream, but I never really did, all the dreams I remember after are fragmentary and incoherent (as if this one /was/ coherent). I do remember my parents being in several others, however, but in varying capacities. I wonder if my dreams are ever not strange? I never remember them if they are!
Friday, October 17, 2014
Lament
A red sun rose over the trees,
And I saw the clouds in their rapid
march east.
Propelled by the wind as it rose to
a gale,
Their black forms did not crawl, but
ran.
The howling of the wind grew ever
louder,
Until I was sure that the tallest
pines would bend and snap
From the force of the sound alone.
At last, the rain came, after a
great bolt of lightning cracked the sky,
To open the floodgates of the
heavens.
I wept, and the clouds wept.
I cried out in grief, and the winds
howled in return.
But it was not in commiseration.
When the red sun rose again,
I saw that the rains and the wind
had washed away,
All of the blood, and the remnants
of the last battle.
But they did not wash them from me.
The storm was only to block the
evidence of this tragedy,
From the view of those who came
next.
And I realized, at long last, that
I and I alone was the last piece of proof of what had occurred.
Thursday, October 16, 2014
Dreams From Last Night I
Last
night, I had some very strange dreams. In one dream, there was a zombie
outbreak. Given the prevalence of this idea in popular culture, I am
unsurprised that I had this dream, especially when I was lamenting the dearth
of good survival games that don’t involve zombies. That said, it started out in
a completely different way. I was in some sort of diner or shop. I believe it
was a diner, as there seemed to be tables and a long counter, however, it might
have been a bar. Regardless, I was in a sort of back room, that might have been
a kitchen, as there was a window looking out from behind the counter. I seemed
to know that something was going to happen, because I was collecting various
firearms and accessories. I heard the door open and crouched below the window.
It seemed there were two women looking for me, and I had known they would be,
hence the hiding and the gathering weapons.
After a
few moments, I heard them begin screaming and shooting wildly, and that was the
signal that the zombies had arrived. I waited a few moments with bullets
ripping through the walls around me, then I got up and entered the main room to
help them.
Either
my shots were ineffective, or the zombies were not as easily disposed of as the
popular films would have you believe, as even point blank head shots didn’t seem
to incapacitate them. Seeing the futility of the fight, we fled, but I somehow
ended up alone. I think I was trying to get back to the women, but I got separated
from them or something, because I was wandering the streets alone at night. I
was trying my best to avoid attracting attention. It was fortunate that I had a
silenced weapon, to aid me in this endeavor, but again, even clean headshots
didn’t really seem to affect the undead beyond staggering them a bit. At one
point, a large truck drove up and down the street, its loud exhaust attracting
the zombies. I used the distraction to my advantage and ran for a short while.
I eventually came to a large farm with several pastures full of cattle, and I
remembered thinking about whether or not the zombies would kill the cattle, or
the virus or whatever other cause of the outbreak would affect them. I don’t recall
much else about that dream.
Another
dream I had last night involved a sleep over and videogames. Kai and I had invited
people over, apparently, though our apartment was much bigger and very different.
The main thing I recall about this dream, is that I complained that someone
else had laid claim to the couch I was going to sleep on, and I was irritated.
Even in the dream, I wondered why I couldn’t just sleep in our bed, but I chose
to share a couch with someone else anyway (what kind of apartment has like four
couches, though?). But alas, even in my dreams, I am an insomniac, so I couldn’t
sleep well, and eventually got up. There was something I don’t remember well
about a cat, I was reading a story, but it was also happening in reality, or
something like that, and then I decided to watch some let’s play videos. I
recall seeing some LPers I enjoy collaborating on a new project, and I was
tickled by the innuendos and sexual tension between them (because I’m mature).
After that, I decided that I would play minecraft with my niece, because obviously,
she was still awake, too. We played for a while, until she placed a bed in the
nether and blew herself up because she didn’t want to play anymore. I don’t
recall anything else of that dream, and I think I got up to use the facilities
at that point.
Finally,
I had a dream that was perhaps the strangest of all. Kai and I were in the car
driving, and she was being quite reckless. At one point, she had driven up on
the sidewalk, as if this were totally acceptable, to avoid road construction.
However, a combination of a sudden turn and hitting the brakes too hard caused
her to spin out…. Through the plate glass window of some sort of department
store, and clear on out the window on the other side. She regained control and
we arrived at our destination, which was a gigantic shopping mall, which was
also where we lived, apparently. The people from the department store pretty
easily found us and wanted us to pay for the window, of course. Kai became despondent,
but as always, I was not worried. My mother was also there for some reason, and
sent me out to the car to get something, so that she could pay for our grocery
bills.
While I
was doing this, I was also exploring the mall. There were all kinds of
different things, including several McDonald’s restaurants. The roof of the
mall was also, apparently very leaky, as the floor was covered in water from
the rain. I ended up going out a direction that I didn’t recall going before
and found myself near a playground and several restaurants. Outside there were
no less than five McDonalds’ and a Pizza Hut. While two or three of the Mickey
Ds’ were closed, the fact that there were so many was quite amusing to me (in
the waking world, I wonder if this is not an indication of my disdain for
consumerism and commodification). I wander around for a bit, until I managed to
find the entrance I was familiar with, with the help of a person I met along
the way. I made it to the car (I think), and got what I needed (I think). Then
I went inside and met a couple old friends and told them about the hilariously
large number of McDonalds’. While on our way back, we went out the door that
was near them and I showed them, then we begin laughing at the number inside
the mall as well (if memory serves, we encountered eight of them, counting the
ones inside). Then we found another entrance, with an escalator going up, and a
button on the wall. The button opened a secret passage… well, a not so secret
passage anyway, as both the button and the sliding wall were pretty obvious,
into... a McDonald’s. Looking down the hall, we saw a conveyor belt, leading to
another escalator, and both were stopped. We decided to make our way back to
where I lived, and so took the working escalator. It led us to a working conveyor
belt, and we climbed off and appeared to be in some sort of maintenance area. A
custodian asked us what we were doing, and I said we had gotten lost, which was
at least in part, true. He didn’t seem upset, and engaged us in conversation for
a few moments. I informed him of the escalator and conveyor belt at the other
end of the line appearing broken, and he thanked me and said he’d look into it.
I then took my leave and started out to find my residence. My friends had not
waited for me, but I don’t remember much else about that dream.
There
are a few more fragments that I remember, but not really worth mentioning, so I
will simply relate those to you. While I’m no stranger to weird dreams, most of
them tend to take the form of night terrors, and while it can be argued that
the first was a nightmare, it was not a vivid night terror by any means, so I
will gladly take more nights where I have dreams like these!
Tuesday, October 14, 2014
Writing Problems
For the past few days, I've been writing 1,000ish words a day in a two-hour period. This is how a person gets better at writing: by writing. I need to produce content, and I need to produce a lot. I've got to Ray Bradbury it up over here. And that takes its toll, creatively. Given that writing is not my only creative task during the day, I need to be more organized about my writing. Large qriting projects require planning, and... well, I've failed at that.
This story I'm writing, for instance, is a very large project indeed. I cannot simply improvise. In fact, I have an overall outline of many major points. The problem with it is, I've been working on it for so long, that I've made so many little tweaks to the story in my head, that the outline I made years ago no longer really fits the story. It's an outline to a different story.
So, that's how I think I'm going to spend today's writing time. Making an overall outline, and starting to fill in the details, so I can get back on track tomorrow. I don't know how much content I will put out until I get it done, but I will certainly try to keep a steady flow.
This story I'm writing, for instance, is a very large project indeed. I cannot simply improvise. In fact, I have an overall outline of many major points. The problem with it is, I've been working on it for so long, that I've made so many little tweaks to the story in my head, that the outline I made years ago no longer really fits the story. It's an outline to a different story.
So, that's how I think I'm going to spend today's writing time. Making an overall outline, and starting to fill in the details, so I can get back on track tomorrow. I don't know how much content I will put out until I get it done, but I will certainly try to keep a steady flow.
Wednesday, October 1, 2014
Another New Beginning
Hello. After much deliberation, I've decided that I'm going to devote myself entirely to creative endeavors. I've tried writing, music, creating videos, and many other things, but I haven't ever really gotten serious about any of them.
Today that changes. I am going to apply myself to creating things, and I will publish them for all to see, even if they are not very good. ( I don't expect they will be.) Time to set forth on this venture, and to get cracking!
Today that changes. I am going to apply myself to creating things, and I will publish them for all to see, even if they are not very good. ( I don't expect they will be.) Time to set forth on this venture, and to get cracking!
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